A confused heart
by Shotasune
Summary: Matt is distancing himself from Tai and Tai is determined to find out why (Taito/Yamachi)
1. Behaviour

I'm just going to say that I don't own digimon or any of the characters below.

Matt ,Tai and Sora are 16 

Mimi and Izzy are 15

Tk  and kari are 9

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Thud! Tai's fist hit the wall as he threw the phone against his bed.

"Matt!" he growled through clenched teeth.

His attention fell to his hand now in pain from hitting the wall.

"Why does he do this!" he shouted, half nursing his screwed up hand at the same time.

If he'd just talk to me he thought.

None of the other digidestined knew anything about why Matt was being so strange all of a sudden.

Two hours ago.

Tai and Matt  were on their way home from school. It was finally Friday and Tai had planned the weekend for all the digidestined (that could make it)to get together at the lake.

Tai stopped walking and motioned his friend to do the same.

"Okay Matt what's going on?"

He looked back at Tai, a little puzzled at the question.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you haven't said hardly any thing to Sora, Izzy or Me this week. What's going on? you're never this quiet."

Matt began walking again.breaking the eye contact.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Tai picked up his pace to catch up to him.Oh yeah ,he thought sarcastically, like that line was supposed to keep me quiet.Whatever.

"Don't give me that.Are you pissed off with me? What'd I do this time?"

Matt stopped them this time.He stared uneaslily at the ground as he began to speak.

"It's" He paused  "It's just school and everything you know? I guess I'm just stressed out and stuff, I'm just trying to deal with it the best way I can.

Sorry If I'm being a jerk."

He sounded sincere.

Tai looked at him questioningly.

"Well okay then if you say so, I'll phone you later kay?"

"Why?"

"I got some stuff planned for tomorrow night. I'll let you know when I get home"

"Sure okay" He looked up with an inquisitive expression on his face.

They both took a path in the forked road ahead of them.

"Later!"Tai shouted.

Matt waved back just in time before he disapeared around the other side of the block.

Back to the present

Kari Peered over the top of the bunk bed. Watching her big brother holding his right hand with his left.

She sighed "Oh Tai."

"Is Matt okay?"

"I don't know kari, he's just closed himself off to everyone."

"Is he still coming?"

"yeah, I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'll make him tell me what this is all about."

"Okay" She smiled a bit  "Just don't go too far okay?"

A third voice was heard in the room.

"yeah Tai you can get rough some....well most times.Maybe he just needs some one to talk to and listen."

Gatomon popped her head up from under a pillow.

"Gatomon? what are you doing here?"

Kari broke Tai's confusion "Tk and I can still go back to the digiworld.I didn't want to tell you cause I knew that you still missed agumon."

"yeah I do" he said looking at digimon on the bed.

"I wish Gabumon was here.He'd know what was up with Matt."

"Don't worry big brother He'll tell you.... some time....... when he's ready."

"Yeah but We're best friends I don't want to wait until something happens before it's too late...whatever it is."

"Yeah I suppose but, It has to be a big thing for him to hide it from you of all people."

"Yeah" He replied.

"I better get dinner started"He said glancing at his watch. 

"Why are you making dinner?"Kari asked.

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you. Mom and Dad phoned before you got home.They said they were going to meet at the golden starfish for dinner after work."

"The golden starfish? That place is really expensive isn't it?"

"Yeah but it's their night out.Now what do you two want to eat."

"Well since your cooking I guess a lamb roast with all the trimmings is out of the question." Gatomon said cheekily.

"Hey whats that supposed to mean!I can cook!"

"Tai she's only teasing.Come on I'll help."She said as she jumped from the bunk bed with her digimon in her arms.

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Any good for the first chapter 1? I'd just like a little feedback to see how I'm

doing and also to see if I should carry on with more fics of Digimon.

I know the first chapter's a little short and bland with not much going on 

but I think of it as an introduction to the story,which it should be. Well?

Next chapter tomorrow kay?


	2. Moon lit tears

Just saying  that I don't own digimon or any of the characters below.

Enjoy.

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He walked over to the balconey and looked out.Mrs yashiro was

out singing old japanese folksong to the pigeons again.She was an elderly woman

who lived by herself.she lost her husband who had a heart attack ten years ago.

 Matt sat down on the balconey with his back against the wall. 

It soothed him when he listened to her singing,especially when he had things on his mind.

She looked up and waved at him 

"No one home yet?"

He looked back down and smiled gently at the old woman

"Dad's at work till tomorrow Mrs yashiro"

"Come on down if you get lonely."

"it's okay, I'm gonna go camp out with some friends at the lake tonight"

He turned to look at the sun as it hung low in the orange sky.

Thought's of Tai were swimming loose in his head,

It troubled him,they were best friends, what would he think of it?

He thought of the phone call he had from Tai yesterday.

He definitely knows something's up and he's not giving up.

He decided right then and there that it would be best to just keep this to himself,

Matt was always good at hiding his feelings so this wouldn't be such of a big deal

Or at least that's what he convinced himself to believe.

The sound of the doorbell broke his concentration

"About time" he thought to himself "Izzy was supposed to be here to pick me up an

hour ago, I bet he was sorting out his Internet connection or something like that."

The door swung open and sure enough there stood Izzy with his laptop under his arm.

"Sorry we're late, I had issues with my hard drive."

"I was close."

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I was just wandering if you were coming for me or not"

"My mom's waiting in the car let's go"

Matt grabbed his sleeping bag and threw it over his shoulder before locking up,

then ran downstairs to the car.

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The whole trip he kept thinking about Tai, and every time he did he countered it by asking 

Izzy some stupid question about his laptop. Izzy tended to babble on mindlessly about that

sort of thing.

Finally they got there, Matt dumped his stuff at his feet for a moment. A little boy came running up to

Matt hugging both of Matt's legs since that's the only place he could get a hold of his big brother.

"Matt!!!!!"

Matt picked his little brother up in his arms

"Hey T.K how's mom doing?"

"Oh she's great.... Dad?"

"He's okay...you know the usual, working a 24 hour day."

Their parent's were divorced so they missed having each other around.

"Come play soccer with us Matt!"

He smiled and pointed to Tai, Davis, and Cody who were too busy shooting goals

to notice that Izzy and Matt had arrived.

"Maybe just now bro. Go on and play, I'll catch up to you later."

T.K ran off happily almost stumbling over his own feet.

He came to the campfire where all three girls were trying to get the fire started.

Kari And Mimi stood up to say hi.

"Hey what's up?"

"Hi Matt..., Well since those so called boys over there decided that soccer was more 

important than getting the fire started they just left it for us to do."

He could see Sora was getting angry with the unlit pile of wood by now so he knelt down to help out.

She looked up at him.

"Thanks Matt"

"No prob"

Tai caught sight of the fire out the corner of his eye.Then he realized Matt was there as he watched

him laughing with the girls.

Thwack!

"Owww!!"Tai yelled.

Davis kicked the ball straight into Tai's face.

"what did ya do that for?"Rubbing the sting of the ball out of his cheek

"Hey you're the one who wasn't watching ball, Don't blame me!"

He rubbed the redness out of his face as he walked over to the fire.

Matt hadn't seen Tai making his way over.

"Hey stranger,When did you get here?"

"about a half an hour ago."

"what took you?"

"ask Izzy over there"

who at the time was burried deep in his laptop.

"sorry I asked,hey why not come play with us?"

"nah I'll pass this time"

Mimi piped up "you feeling okay? you never pass on soccer"

"just not in the mood I guess"He shrugged

"well uh...ok your loss!"

Tai went back to the game but couldn't stop wandering what was up with Matt.

"Maybe he's ticked off with me or something."he thought to himself.

"What did I do?I wander if he knows about.........nah he couldn't know could he?

What would he do if he found out?

He shook his head loose of the thoughts and ran back out to where the other guys were.

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The sun had just set leaving a peach,rose colour in the lakes water it then spread to the sky making a

blanket of colour flowing into the clearing where the group had setup for camp.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna get something to eat, I'm starving!,coming?"

back at the fire everyone was taking out their food they brought for the night.

Tai, Cody, davis and T.k did the same eventually.

The food was shared amongst themselves while they talked and laughed the whole night through.

Matt didn't get too involved in their conversations, his mind was elsewhere as was Tai's.

He tried his best not to think Of Tai but that made him think of him even more.

Tai was watching him making sure not to be caught while doing so.

Mimi yawned and eventualy so did everyone else.

"G'night everyone!"

Soon almost everyone was fast asleep.

Tai and Matt remained the only ones awake by the fire.

they sat opposite each other with the fire between them flickering high

into the summer night ,both staring into the heart of the flames.

They stayed that way for what seemed like ages, never saying a word to one another.

Matt stood up slowly and walked over to the lake side and sat back down hugging his legs.

he could feel the pain welling up inside.

He could see the pain on Matt's face looked as he walked passed him.

To see his best friend like that......he had to find out what was going on.

Standing up he turned to where the blond haired boy was sitting and sat down just behind him.

Kind of nervous he rubbed the back of his neck like he always did.

Then staring at the fine blond hairs on the back of his friends neck, 

he spoke "Matt?....You okay?"

he sniffled and replied "Yeah....I'm fine...Don't worry" he was trying his hardest to hide the fact that

he was nearly about to cry.

"Come on Matt your not acting normal.......Did....Did I do something wrong?"

Matt lowered his head "No....it's just....I can't tell you."

"why? we've always told each other everything.whats going on?"

"If I tell you then you might never want to see me again.Just leave me alone,Tai."

A tear forced it's way through the corner of his eye and ran down his cheek.

He screwed up his face and clenched his fists as tight as he could.

"Just leave me ALONE!!!"

Tai just managed to dodge a swift swing of Matt's fist.

That was it he thought as he launched himself straight into Matt.

Thud! Matt was thrown on his back hard almost losing his breathe.

Tai grabbed the colar of his shirt with both hands and shook him violently as he spoke.

"JEES MATT!! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!!"

The blonde realized his position between the brunette's legs.Not sure what to make of it.

He twisted and turned frantically and threw his weight forward,Tai found the tables turned as he discovered 

he was now the one who was pinned down on his back.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE, IT'S NOTHING!!!" he shouted back in defiance.

He saw Tai(frowning with a confused look as if concerned for some reason)beneath him.

Tai's grip on the blondes arms now loosend but still kept their hold.

Still his eyes never broke from his friends wich were now glassy with more tears ready to fall at any moment.

So much pain. Tai thought to himself as he looked deeply into the blue eyes staring down at him.

He spoke softly with a sense of worry for his friend that was clear in his voice. 

"Matt....? Dude your shaking."

He let go of Tai's arms and pulled away.he sat with his back to Tai not knowing if he could ever 

face his friend again.

His head hung low and the tears came more freely now, hicupping every now and then.

Tai propped himself up with his elbows and then sat up looking worriedly at the back of Matt's head of hair

again.

"Matt....?Has...?" He winced and paused to think about what he was going to say"Has someone hurt you.....Sexually?"

He swollowed the lump in his throught.

Please don't let it be that way he thought to himself as he waited for an answer of some kind.

But all the symptoms were there.Matt hadn't spoken to anyone for about a week.

He never hid anything from Tai before......ever.There was nothing they couldn't talk about.

but most importantly the way he was now before him.

Matt turned to his friend burrying himself in Tai's chest, his sobs grew louder but were muffled by Tai's shirt.

Tai pulled his arms around the poor child and held him tightly releasing his own sorrow,tears began to run down

his own cheeks.

He closed his eyes and whispered into Matt's ear. "why...why didn't you tell me." 

Gently rocking him back and fourth in his arms.

Tai was paralyzed at the sudden sound of Matt's quivering voice.

"N-No....I'm *sniff* okay.It's *hiccup* something else."

Tai's feelings didn't change.Matt was still in pain and nothing had come between them before.He wasn't aware of 

how sensitive he was being,it wasn't like him but this was his best friend.And Matt had always lived up to that

title of BEST FRIEND.

He grabbed the boy's shoulders and held him gently before him,they were close enough to notice each others warm

breath against their faces.

"Then... what is it?What's making you feel like this?" He asked with hope in his heart.Hope for the blondes eyes

to meet his.

He lifted his head slightly to look into Tai's muddy brown eyes wich were dressed with strands of brown hair.

"I..I....."

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Bastard aren't I? Bet you can't wait to find out what happens next.

I'll try to stretch this into a couple more chapters,

Please give me some feed back on the chapters you've read so far.

Thanx.

Kale.


	3. The racoon

I do not own digimon or any of the characters or else I wouldnt be wasting my time with this disclaimer.  
  
The racoon ----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Matt's eye caught sight of Sora making her way over.She must have heard us fighting.He thought to himself.  
  
Quickly he moved himself out the reach of Tai's arms and wiped his eye's dry.  
  
Tai discovered that Sora was soon going to be upon them, so he began to calm himself down for Matt's sake. If I told Sora I was getting progress with matt... he thought. She would never leave us alone, and Matt would close himself off again.  
  
"Are you guys alright? I heard something over here."  
  
She was making her way over to the two boys.  
  
"Yeah" Matt said with a normal voice. "We heard it too, I think it was a racoon, it looked hurt but it ran away too fast for us to help it."  
  
Matt realised how much that racoon sounded like him right then. Being hurt and running away from help that is.  
  
Tai sat with astonishment at how well Matt covered up everything in an instant. It was like watching the government cover up a crashed U.F.O in seconds only better of coarse.  
  
Had Matt been lying to him the whole of last week like this?  
  
Sora shrugged "I hope it's okay"  
  
She fell for it.But who wouldn't, he did it so well, too well infact.  
  
"Don't stay up too late guys,I'm gonna go back to sleep , G'night."  
  
They were eventually alone in the dark again with just the sounds of the creatures that lived in the night stirring around them.  
  
Matt was looking at the moon waving in the waters in front of him. He began to reflect over the last five minutes. Me in Tai's arms? He thought. What have I done?!?!!  
  
Again he stared into the back of Matt's head wondering what it was that he was going to say to him.  
  
He remembered his words "I.....I......."  
  
"Matt?" The silence made them both feel uneasy "What were you going to say before Sora?"  
  
He didn't dare touch Matt now, That time had come and gone.Purely for comfort. He thought to himself. Nothing more right? Quite sure of what it was that he was outlining in the situation.  
  
"you know........." he said lifting his head "You know..... if I told you ,you would never want to see me or my face again.He sniffed and his voice became sad again.  
  
"Matt I would NEVER condemn my friends like that ever, no matter what they told me."Very sure he that was close to an answer.  
  
He stood up and looked at his less informed friend with eyes that Tai had never seen before. "You'll never understand Tai" He walked back to camp and climbed into his sleeping bag after saying goodnight to his little brother, That was the one thing that couldn't go without being done.  
  
Tai noticed a folded note falling from Matt's baggy jeans as he got up to leave. He picked it up (not reading) it and walked back to camp.  
  
Leaning over the opening in Matt's sleeping bag he whispered.  
  
"This isn't over Matt, I'm gonna find out no matter how long it takes."  
  
The sleeping bag lay still.  
  
"Goodnight." He said softly.  
  
And went over to his sleeping bag putting the folded note in his bag with his goggles.Then climbed into his own sleeping bag to join the rest of the group for the night.  
  
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Thanx to blue shocker for my first review. Hmm I wonder whats on that letter don't you?Cause I sure as heck wanna know!! So yet another chapter falls into place. I am seriously wondering if this is any good at all. 


	4. The ice breaks

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon or any of it's characters.Those rights belong to bandai and foxkids entertainment.  
  
I tried to make this chapter a little longer for you all.Read on!  
  
The Ice Breaks. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
It looked like everyone had discovered that kari had been hiding gatomon in her backpack the whole of last night and yesterday.They all huddled around her a distance from the camp sight.  
  
Mimi began to wail "Palmon I miss youhoohooooooooooooo!" The others also looked a little disgruntled.They really missed their digi friends.  
  
Mimi's squeeling woke Tai. "Gees who's killing a that cat!" He yelled ,sitting up in his sleeping bag covering his ears at the same time , a little groggy from sleep too. Rubbing one eye and then the next.  
  
Tai saw the group around Gatomon and Kari.  
  
He sighed deeply. "Kari! I told you it was a bad idea to bring her with!"  
  
Kari just picked up her digimon and strayed from the others towards her brother, ignoring his comment casually.  
  
"So any luck with Matt?" She whispered under her breath.  
  
"No he wouldn't........"Tai looked around but not too attentively. "Uh..... where is Matt anyway? Kari motioned to her right with a flick of her hair.  
  
Matt sat cross legged, poking unenthusiastically at the dying embers of last nights fire with a long bent stick.  
  
He hadn't seen that Tai was awake and who was now watching him intently.  
  
That folded note might have left a clue.Tai thought.But he had his chance last night and everyone was awake now, they'd all want to know what it was that I was reading, and then Matt would probably have snatched it and decked me in the face for having it.  
  
Nah I'll wait till mom comes for us at lunch time.I'll read it at home.  
  
For the rest of the day Matt avoided all confrontations with Tai as best he could till his Mom arrived for T.K.  
  
Matt walked up to the car his Mother was getting out of the driver seat when he approached.  
  
"Hey Matt!" Her arms wide open welcoming a hug.Matt wrapped his arms around his mother. "How've you been?"  
  
"Great!" He lied "But Dad's always busy you know?"  
  
He released his grip on his mother.He didn't want to let go.  
  
"I'll go get T.K for you." He smiled.  
  
"Go get your stuff too."  
  
"why?" He asked wondering what she was talking about.  
  
"Your Dad phoned and asked if I could drop you off at home when I came for T.K." She sighed to herself "He's got another business meeting in New York till Wednesay."  
  
Matt's face reflected his mothers. "Okay I'll get T.k first"  
  
He ran off to his little brother who turned and waved at his mother after hearing that she was waiting by the car for them.  
  
Great this is my chance. Tai thought to himself. He'd do it while Matt wasn't looking.  
  
"Hi Mrs Ishida"  
  
"Oh hi Tai "  
  
"Don't worry about taking Matt home, He's gonna come over to my house for the afternoon so he can stay over till wednesday if he wants."  
  
"Oh so your parents don't mind?"  
  
"Nah besides I've hardly seen him this summer.It'll be great to have him around." Yeah he knew was lying about why he wanted him over, but it was the best he could do right now.  
  
"Ok great Tai. Send my thanks to your mom"  
  
"Sure thing Mrs Ishida." The fox has caught his chicken. Tai thought to himself with a grin on his face.  
  
T.K had already got his stuff into the car and sat in the front with his mom While she told him where Matt was going to be untill wednesday. The car drove off just as Matt had finished packing and threw his bag on his back wich then fell back down to the ground.He saw them both waving as they drove away.  
  
He didn't believe what he was seeing.  
  
"Oh yeah ,Matt?" Tai said without thought."You're staying at our house till your Dad gets back.Your Mom thought it was a good Idea."  
  
"Tai I warned you."Kari said as she left the scene for her own safety.She knew when her brother had gone too far.And she could feel that something nasty was going to happen.  
  
"Tai what are you doing?" Came the reply  
  
They were alone in the camp right now so he found it safe to talk to Matt.  
  
"I told you I wasn't gonna give up on you, didn't I?"  
  
The tension between them grew strong. Matt was burning with anger inside but he held himself back.  
  
"So you would do anything to find out,wouldn't you?"His voice became stern.  
  
"Yeah I would." Tai yelled back with equal tone.  
  
Matt rolled his eyes and then fixed them angrily back onto Tai's face again.  
  
"Even at the cost of my own privacy, I see!"He folded his arms as spoke.  
  
Guilt flooded intoTai as he realised the flaw in his little plan.  
  
Matt turned around picked up his stuff and went too the farthest tree he could and sat down against it.He found a small pebble by his feet and threw it as hard as he could along the top of lakes water.  
  
Tai was expecting a more physical reaction from Matt, but instead he got this?  
  
Tai just crossed his legs and sat where he was, thinking about his impulsive actions.  
  
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Everyone else had left,each saying goodbye to each other as they went.  
  
Tai, Matt and Kari were the last ones left.  
  
Matt Hadn't moved from the tree he was under the whole time.  
  
Mrs Yagami's car pulled up at last, Tai ran up to the car and pointed in Matt's direction as he explained why Matt would be staying over so long. She just nodded and smiled.  
  
Suppose I better go. Matt said in his mind. No one else is gonna take me home anyway. I'll just drag this out as long as I can.  
  
This was the first time that he hadn't felt like going to Tai's house. He began to think to himself as he walked towards the car. "If only he......knew"Matt said quietly to himself.  
  
"Knew what Matt?" Kari had sneaked up behind him while he was walking.  
  
He wipped around falling backwards to the ground at the sound of her voice.  
  
"Huh What?"He dusted himself off and looked at the girl.  
  
She asked again "Knew what Matt?" offering her hand to help him up.  
  
He took it and pulled himself up and then stood to his full height again. "Nothing." He said "Their just some lyrics to a song I've been writing" Another skillfull lie that hung from the tip of his tongue.  
  
"Sing them to me?"the innocent face asked.  
  
"Uh....it's not finished yet.besides we gotta get to your house now remember?" He pointed to where Tai and his mom were waiting.  
  
Tai shouted "Come on guys! Hurry up!"  
  
They dropped the subject and made their way to the car.  
  
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Later at Tai's house Tai's mother dropped them off at home while she went out for her Sunday bout as Tai called it.Both parent's never got home till eleven.  
  
Tai opened the door and all three went straight to the bedroom with aplaque that said Tai and underneath it Kari on the door. Matt sat down on the bed while Tai went to get some clean clothes to put on.  
  
Kari's digivice started to go off.She pulled it out of her backpack along with the cat like digimon. "Bye guys, I gotta go, the other digidestined are calling me." "Be carefull." Her brother yelled as she disapeared through a portal.  
  
The Zapping sound of the portal was the last sound they heard in the room.  
  
Matt began to speak "I miss him you know....Gabumon I mean."  
  
Tai faced his friend the first time in the last half hour.  
  
"Oh' so you're talking to me now are you?"  
  
"Yeah I suppose,I'm here for three days, What choice do I have?"  
  
Tai folded his arms and sat against his desk.  
  
"So does that mean your gonna tell me whats going on with you?"  
  
Matt smiled lightly as he spoke. "Hey...little baby steps okay?"  
  
Tai smiled back with victory written all over his face."Baby steps huh? I wont argue with that.At least I'm getting somewhere right?"  
  
Matt looked up at him now. "Won't argue?" He asked playfully.Then tapped his wrist watch. "You sure?" He joked. "Times running out."  
  
Tai just laughed."See... now that's the Matt I know."  
  
"Hey don't push it." He joked again. "I'm still ticked off with you for inviting me over without telling me."  
  
The brunette burst out laughing holding his sides as he did.Soon they were both filling the room with laughter.Matt's eye's were watering cause they were both laughing so hard.  
  
They pulled themselves together and sat up on the floor of Tai's room, still smiling at the ridiculous notion.  
  
"Thanks Tai" he said still smiling.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"I haven't Laughed like that for ages.It feels good to laugh again."  
  
"Sure any time."  
  
"Oh I forgot to ask, can I use some of your clothes, mine are at home and this is all I have with me." He said tugging at his shirt.  
  
Tai turned to the drawers that he was searching through earlier.He threw a sleeveless vest, A pair of cargo pants and underwear at Matt.  
  
Matt picked up the underwear and looked at Tai with a lowered eyebrow. "Uh......Tai?"  
  
"Don't worry I haven't worn those yet, they're still new."  
  
He tossed a towel to Matt."You go get a shower first,I'll go afterwards."  
  
"Tai?"he said again looking at the clothes he was given. "Thanks."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Now hurry up I wanna go shower too ya know."  
  
The blonde smiled again picked up the clothes and headed for the bathroom.  
  
As soon as he was gone Tai pounced on his bag and fumbled around for the folded note that he had picked up the night before.  
  
He unfolded the note and began to read.From the sounds of things the shower had been turned on. Tai's eye's grew wider with every word he read not to mention his jaw had nearly dropped about six feet .His hand shot out behind him trying to find something to hold onto, but his eye's never left the page.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------- Sorry if the last chapter was a little short. Getting any better?Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I'll try finnish the next two chapters within a day or two. 


	5. Matt's letter

Matt's Letter

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I look to the door and you're standing there saying. 'Take my hand.'

I look up into your eye's, and you smile as though I were the treasure you were searching for all your life.

I wait for the words on the tip of your tongue, but then I stop waiting cause the words never come.Your out stretched hand falls back to your side as you turn and walk through the door, and then I'm all alone in the dark.

The realism of it all jolts me back to consciousness and I start to cry.

I have this dream every night.

You know...... Sometimes I feel I have the words to say right there in my hands but then they slip through my fingers before I get a chance to speak.

and then a part of me is glad that I hadn't said anything ......but I want to...... so badly.

My heart longs for you to embrace me but that's also a distant dream.

I wish you could feel the love in your heart that my heart feels for you.

Everyday I'm losing a constant battle with myself,  if I told you I'd lose you forever.

Deep inside, my heart breaks a little more each day as I realise that your hand will never be in mine.

There's nothing I wouldn't do to sparkle in your eye's but my hopes dwindle knowing that you won't look at me that way.

Tai.....? I never want to leave your side because if I did I'd drown in my own self pity.

I fear what you might do if you discovered that my heart desires you.

And for that reason you'll never see this letter.

This letter to you is my  moment of weakness.

I love you Tai.

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The letter was a bit rushed on my side.Please tell me if it needs a rewrite.

I'll redo this whole chapter if it's not good enough.

Lot's of angst on Tai's part in the next chapter.or not? who knows?

Amatuer aint I?

The next chapter will be here soon!Bye now.


	6. Love birds

Matt walked into Tai's bedroom with messy and wet hair.

He had already got dressed in the bathroom.

He lifted his clothes to his his nose.

"Smells like ash from last nights fire." Then he turned to see what Tai was 

doing.The clothes in Matt's hand fell to the ground.

Tai lowered the letter to his waist and saw Matt stepping backwards in 

horror.

"Matt...I...I" Was all he could stammer.

The next thing Tai knew, Matt had bolted out the front door letting his fear 

take hold.

He began to run after him but he stopped at the door then slowly turned back 

to the letter while sliding down against the wall.

"Matt....." The tears tried to force their way through but he held them back.

His voice trembled.

"You couldv'e told me anything I said." In fact he wish Matt had told him.

That way Tai could tell him how he felt too.

Tai sat looking at the letter for several more minutes thinking of Matt.He read 

the letter over and realised how much pain Matt must've been carrying 

around with him. He began to gather himself."He has to know." He said 

sternly slamming his fist into his hand,then made his way to the front door. 

He slammed the door behind him and ran as hard as he could to get to the 

blonde boys house.

 His voice was trembling. "I have to tell him." He repeated as he ran.  

"I HAVE to tell him."

About half way there he stopped to catch his breath.He leaned forward with 

his hands on his knees.

Over his deep gulps of air he thought he could hear a light moaning sound 

coming from the dark alley on his right.

Wandering over the screwed up newspapers and junk lying around he saw a 

figure move slightly in the shadows, it fell lifeless back to the ground a second later.

Tai moved a little closer only to recognise his shirt on the boy he had been 

chasing after.

"Matt!!!" He shouted as he ran to his side.

There was no reply.He just lay there eyes closed.

Tai sat back terrified at the state of Matt's body.

His arms were covered in bruises and cuts, his face reflected the dark blue 

patches on his arms.streams of drying blood ran from his nose.His pockets 

were turned inside out, who ever they were, they weren't happy to find their 

victim with nothing worth stealing. He had been mugged brutally.

"Matt?" he nudged him, being carefull not to hurt him. "Matt?"

Still no reply.

Histerical, he did the only logical thing he could think of.

He ran after a woman who was passing by the alley a grabbed a hold of her 

arm.

"Call an ambulance! My friend he's.......he's! " 

Startled, She realised what he was talking about, the woman grabbed a hold 

of him in return and lowered herself to his height."Calm down. Where is he?"

Tai pointed to the ally."He's been hurt really bad!"

"Good" She said. "Now go to him and put this over him and keep him 

warm."She gave him her business jacket. "I'll be right back after I call the 

ambulance okay?"

Tai Nodded and ran into the ally to do as she said.

He draped the jacket over him. 

"Matt.... come on you can't leave me now!"

He picked up the blonde in his arms and began to stroke his hair.

"Matt.........?" He whispered into his ear. "Please be alright."

The bruised boy opened his eye's slightly as far as they would allow.

"Tai?" He coughed and blood came to his lip.

"Matt?!?!.....Matt stay with me, focus."

He fell limp again, passing out from the physical pain.

The silence Encased the two in a bubble where time didn't seem to exsist. 

He decided to tell him how he felt right then. 

"Matt?" He looked at Matt's closed eyes."my next door neighbour told me 

about her two love birds that she had once" He started talking slowly to the 

boy that was in his arms.

"She told me how one of her love birds got sick and slowly it's life began to 

slip away. After that the love bird that was left behind became sad and 

longed for it's partner so much so that it didn't eat anything in it's morning for 

the one that had gone, and eventually it too passed away." his cheeks were 

wet with tears.

"I don't want that to be us matt.You see it missed it's partner so much that it 

felt it's life wasn't worth living anymore..... Don't you do that....don't you do 

that to me Ishida.Wake up! Wake up please?"

Tai never looked up once, not even when the red and blue lights of the 

ambulance began to light up the ally.

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A little short and rushed I think.

Don't worry no one dies in my stories kay?

I'll tell you when my last chapter will be.

Luckily it's not today.(Your cue to leap out of your chair and yell woohoo!)

How am I doing?


	7. Bedside Manners

*disclaimer* I dont own digimon or any of it's characters.

**Bedside Manners**

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The blonde boy began to stir in his hospital bed. He looked around the room with a blurred vision, it was dark in the room. He felt like he'd been drugged.

Something was tickling his hand at his side. A mess of brown hair was gently touching Matt's hand.

Tai was fast asleep,resting his head on his crossed arms next to Matt on the bed. 

"Tai?" He whispered.

Tai began to wake, rubbing his eyes.

He jumped back a little in the chair that was supporting his groggy body.

"Matt! your awake. He yelped.

"Where am I? Oww!" he cringed as he tried to sit up in the hospital bed.

"Take it easy, you've got three cracked ribs....not a good idea to move around too much." He said while rushing over to help him.

"I can do it."He tried to sit up again.

"Yeah whatever...still acting tough huh?" Tai smiled slightly.

Matt leaned back against some pillows that Tai had placed behind him.

Tai sat back down in his chair.

"What time is it?" He asked while trying to shake the sleepy feeling from his head.

"12:15" He said while looking at his wrist watch.

"Your Mom and T.K were here earlier.But you were still asleep. The doctor calmed both our parents down.They were a little histerical but the're all okay now."

"How was T.K when he saw me like this?"

"Pretty well actually, he kept saying that they only ran away cause you beat them badly before you fell."

They both chuckled a little.

"T.K always the optimist." Matt said smiling at the thought of his little brother.

The room was quiet for a moment.

"So........you read it huh?" There was a tone of fear creeping into his voice.

Matt looked at the bruises on his arms.

Tai nodded looking at the bed sheets in front of him.

It was quiet again.

"Twice." Tai said under his breath. "Before I came running after you."

"Wh..why? What were you gonna do when you caught up to me?"

"I wasn't going to hurt you.......if that's what you're thinking." The tone of his voice seemed to calm Matt down a little. He was sure Tai wasn't going to shout at him about the letter.

"Then what were you going to do?" His eyes were watching Tai, hoping and searching for an answer he strongly felt he'd never get.

"I just wanted to.....to tell you."He looked up to see the bruised kid staring down at him in desperation for an answer. 

"To tell me what Tai?" 

He began to play with the bed sheets nervously.

"That I feel the same way."

Matt's heart felt heavy, tears began to gather in his eyes.

Tai sat on the side of his bed.leaned in over his friend.

"No Matt...... don't cry..... I'm here."

Matt threw his arms around Tai.

It's that night at the camp all over again.Tai thought to himself but he didn't care.Sora wasn't around this time to spoil anything.

Matt began to cry a little more but softly this time.

"Matt.......? how long have you been carrying this around with you?" He whispered into his ear.

He looked into Tai's eye's wich were looking back with that sparkle that Matt thought he'd never see.

"I....I...forever." Gasping between each word, He pulled Tai closer not wanting to let go. He could feel Tai's hot breath on his neck.

"Silly little blonde kid.......I told you, you could tell me anything." Tai squeezed him in his arms. "Anything!" "I love you Matt."

"Owww! Tai!? "

Matt fell back into the soft pillows whem Tai realized what he'd done.

"I'm sorry! Are you okay?!I'm sorry!"

Matt gaped shortly for air.Tai was fussing and getting a bit panicky.

"Tai calm down okay? I'm alright, Don't do that okay? Well......not any time soon."He grinned as though he'd just had a dirty thought.

He sighed out deeply in relief. 

"Sorry"

And sat back down on the side of the bed again.

Matt smiled past the sharp ache in his side.

"Hey Tai?"

"yeah?"

"Guess it means we're not really friends anymore huh? Not that I'm complaining or anything."

Tai gently brushed Matt's hair out of his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I guess not but....We can still laugh together like friends, that'll never change ....right?"

"Right."

Matt was battling to keep his eye's open.

"I'll let you get some rest, kay?"

"Yeah I 'm still exausted, Just promise me one thing?"

"Sure, name it."

"That you'll be here when I wake up?"

"As if I'd be anywhere else."He laughed.

Matt closed his eyes and smiled as he thought of Tai next to him.

"Night Tai."

He felt Tai's soft lips against his forehead.

"Night Matt.I love you."

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Sucked huh? Not a great story is it?

I'll make this the end for now and a sequal to this story later maybe?

Expecting them to kiss? Well  I thought I'd save it for a sequal.

It'll probably be really mushy too. 

I'll see what the reviewers have to say.

I'm sorry if this story was a real disapointment, sorry.

Kale.


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